One Less Lonely Gurl: The Remake
by Monica Gilbey-Bieber
Summary: In the depths of the sea, a landlubber shall discover her true self. This is the fanfic I once became infamous for, and I am now remaking it after a year since I confessed to being a troll.


**CHAPTER 1**

_Author's Note: Welcome, everyone, to my remake of the trollfic that once made me infamous around here, One Less Lonely Gurl. This version will be more serious, although it will still contain elements of parody and trollfic in it. It's been a year since I confessed to being a troll, and over that span of time, after seeing fanfics on here worse than this one, I realized that I should try and remake this fanfic in my style of writing. I know I might fail in my effort to make this fanfic better by any means, but dammit, I tried!_

_Again, I donut own this spongebob thiny. dis is just a fanfic OK! Donut take this fic too seriously as well._

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It was just another day for me at work as a marine biologist, and I dove deep into the trenches near the Bermuda Triangle in pursuit of a newly-discovered species of coral reef. I was tasked to gather samples for further study. It was dark, but I was happy about it because I love my job that always leads me to a new adventure every day. I had been told to be careful around this area, as it has been said that ships and aircraft disappear here. Perhaps, if I could get those corals back to the land above and finally get them studied, we would all know why those vehicles disappear, along with the passengers.

Of all the divers in the laboratory, I was the one entrusted with such a job because of my uncanny, almost supernatural ability to hold my breath underwater for long periods of time and somehow withstand the immense pressure of the deep seas despite not having a bulky diving suit with even bulkier equipment. All I needed was my pink cat suit to lessen drag while swimming and my long, blonde hair tied up in a bun. But then, even I found this task very daunting and challenging. I checked my pink Justin Bleber, diamond-studded waterproof watch and realized that it was almost nighttime, and that I needed to go back up to the land. I had been swimming through underwater deserts of darkness for an entire day only to find nothing.

As I was about to go back up to the land, I managed to find one wedged between the cracks of a hard stone. Suddenly, a narrow, bright light shone through the ebony darkness that was only barely lit by my pink, waterproof cell phone as I attempted to grab a chunk of the coral. Perhaps that wasn't even a coral.

"This bright light… where is it coming from!?" I said to myself in surprise as I covered my cerulean eyes with my long, slender right arm in order to protect myself from the sudden glare that would otherwise strain them. I decided to dive deeper in order to find out where it was coming from.

As I went further down the trench, the light became longer, although it strained my eyes less as my pupils adapted themselves to it. I could see my surroundings better, such as the jagged rocks that covered the walls of the narrow trench and more samples of the coral as I went deeper in.

However, I was no longer after those corals. This mysterious light that I saw was more amazing than those rare pearly-pink corals that I was being asked to gather samples of.

When I finally got there and saw the light up close, I started to be able to see it in different colors depending on the angle I looked at it. It was actually a solid; it was shaped like a coral reef. Perhaps this is the mother lode from which those 'corals' I had been asked to gather actually come from, if those things are even corals at all. However, I still wondered why it only started to shine brightly as I attempted to grab one of those corals wedged between the hard stones.

I decided to dive inside it and find out what kinds of fish would inhabit something as beautiful, brilliant, and remarkable as this giant chunk of solid light that rests at some of the deepest parts of the ocean. However, the interior of such a brilliant chunk of light wasn't what I expected it to be. It was total darkness in stark contrast to the luminescent iridescence of its exterior.

I lit up the surroundings using my phone, and yet, it didn't help. All I could see was a faint, small sphere of light that floated in the middle of the watery nothingness. I couldn't even see my hands, or the rounded, rectangular form of the phone itself. I was sure that the laws of physics didn't work that way, but I knew I was still alive. I know this might sound ridiculous, but perhaps I have disappeared, just like those passengers of ships and planes that passed by this area. They might also be here in this void with me, and they might also be screaming for help, but no sound could pass through this abyss at all. Or possibly, this pit might have been overrun with corpses, but I couldn't smell a thing, either.

I struggled to find my way out of this void, but I couldn't. Everything was sealed in near-complete darkness save for the soft, dim, floating sphere produced by my phone's light. I was already stuck in this void forever, and there was no more turning back. The only thing I could do is swim deeper, perhaps in false hopes that I might find a way to finally get myself out of here, or if worst comes to even worse, be eaten by a giant fish. I tried to communicate with my superiors from the land above, but all signal transmissions from my phone were blocked.

And so, I did. I swam deeper in hopes that I would find something more. After about what seemed to be a day's worth of deep-sea diving, I saw what appeared to be a neon sign in the middle of near-complete darkness. However, it didn't electrocute me. I went closer to it and saw that it says, "Welcome to Atlantis."

This is getting ridiculous; I thought to myself as I saw how several laws of physics had been broken right before my senses. But I swam further in out of curiosity anyway. Apart from the obvious fear I felt of disappearing forever from the face of the Earth, I was also excited to find out about this mysterious, physics-violating place that lays deep beneath its crust, that perhaps, this really is The Lost City of Atlantis as I have read from legends, now submerged a place beyond what most humans have the capacity to explore.


End file.
